Survivor Spacesにようこそ
ここは、トラウマや虐待のサバイバーが、支えてくれる仲間たちとともに自分たちのストーリーを分かち合う場です。
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#178
オリジナルストーリー
サバイバーへのメッセージ
I love this page. I am so glad I found it so that I could kind of get it off of my chest because it’s not something I talk about. It breaks my heart how many of us there are. But I am so glad we have each other, this space, the progress being made to try to prevent this from continuing to happen, to hold them accountable. We’ve got a long way to go but I’m proud of our progress. I’m proud of all of you. I see you, I hear you, I believe you. We got this. 🖤
いやしのメッセージ
I’ve only ever told one person the whole story. Not even my best friends. I don’t know why. I guess I still feel embarrassed, ashamed. Or maybe they won’t believe me. Or won’t think it was sexual assault. I hope to one day be brave enough to openly share my story in hopes of helping others heal. My healing was delayed a couple of years because that’s how long it took me to realize that what happened to me was wrong.
I didn’t realize that what happened to me was sexual assault until a few years after it happened. I had always felt weird about it, something was off. Until I was in a Facebook group with a bunch of girls, sharing stories about how we lost our virginity or something, and one of them privately messaged me telling me she was a survivor as well... at first I was kind of confused, it still didn’t register, then after talking it out with her, it hit me... I was raped. It was right before I turned 21. I didn’t drink, but was at a party with several friends who were all drinking. It was after a concert, he was in the band. I had known him for a few years, had always had a crush on him. He’s about 4 or 5 years older than me. He was always so nice and everybody loved him. The party was dying down and everyone left except the people staying there(it was about an hour away from where we lived). We started making out, I was into it of course. But I was a virgin, so when he started to try going further, I told him. He backed off a little, then started again. I thought, I’m 21, I trust him, I like him, maybe I might as well finally do it. So I let him. I got nervous and scared though and asked him to stop. I tried to gently push him back a little. He wouldn’t. He kept saying “just the tip, I’ll just put the tip in.” I still tried to push him back but he wouldn’t stop. So I gave in. Then he kept wanting to go further, longer. I started pushing back again, trying to back myself away. “Just a little more, just a little longer, it’s okay it’s okay.” I don’t remember what I did or what happened after. I felt so weird. I didn’t fully understand what happened. I told my two best friends about it, not all of the details or anything, but they knew I slept in the same room as them so I was just like yeah so I finally lost my virginity, and they were excited for me. Again, we all loved him. I never would have imagined he’d hurt me. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. Back then I thought it was only considered rape if it was a stranger attacking you in a dark alley or something. Not someone you’ve known, you trusted, you liked... but he did. He literally took my virginity from me.
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